Year 2/Day 204

Year 2 - Day 204

I finally got around to going to one of those wine and paint places today.  I dragged along Michelle and we were determined to have a great time.

Success!!  :)  What a blast this was!  I was worried that my painting would look awful, but I think it turned out great.  Michelle’s looked awesome too!  The neatest thing about this class was that everyone was creating a similar painting, but each one looked different.  They all had a bit of the person’s personality in it which really gave each piece a unique characteristic.

I love this!  I can’t wait to do another one!  :)

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Year 2/Day 192

Year 2 - Day 192

Today was awesome.  My favorite poet, Anis Mojgani, hosted an Open Studio at Serenbe.  He had been nominated to attend a month long artist residency at Serenbe and today he opened up his studio to folks to come check out what he’s been working on.  It was a like a little sneak peak into his creative mind.  Simply. Amazing.  We talked with him for a little bit and purchased another copy of his new book.  He was kind enough to sign it and take a picture with me.  :)

What an amazing experience.  He is so down to earth, yet magical and inspiring.  He also mentioned that he was hoping to do a reading towards the end of February…which I will do whatever I can to make sure we attend!

Anis's studio

Anis's studio

Year 2/Day 175

Year 2 - Day 175

Errand day.

On a fun note though, I’m excited to start making my own candles.  I’ve been researching it a bit and today I’m going to check out a few places and see what I can acquire locally.

Year 2/Day 163

Year 2 - Day 163

I’m stuck.

Stuck in an unmotivated rut.

Days have passed…and nothing has been accomplished…

It’s nice that there are no emergencies or major stressful events at the moment, but why am I wasting my days doing nothing? There are clearly things that I need to do, even things that I want to do, but instead I lie around wasting time doing…nothing.

And the worst part is, I know I’m doing this…and don’t change.

Year 2/Day 162

Year 2 - Day 162

Forgot to take a picture today.  So here’s a picture of part of the poetry section at Moe’s in Berkeley, CA.  We didn’t have much time to browse…but it was a truly beautiful site and I hope to get back there one day.

Year 2/Day 135

Year 2 - Day 135

The sky was beautiful today.  I love moments like this.  Things feel so peaceful and calm.

Year 2/Day 126

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I finally had some time to decorate!  It felt so nice to work on the house and make things “pretty”.

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Year 2/Day 125

Tonight took an unexpected turn down memory lane.  Wow…I’m only 32 but I’ve already had so many great memories and wonderful people in my life.  Looking through old pictures can be bitter sweet, but overall I love seeing those that I loved and those who loved me.  Even if some are no longer in my life.

Here is just a microscopic snapshot of those who have impacted my life and who I will always love and cherish.

Year 2/Days 100 – 112

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Hi.  It’s been awhile.

I debated about uploading a picture for each day and trying to “catch up” again…but this time it didn’t feel right.  Instead, I wanted to update in one post.  It’s simpler that way.  I need simple right now.  The past couple of weeks have been extremely stressful for me.  School is almost over and I’ve begun to stress out with all that I need to do before the semester ends.  So, to alleviate some of my stress, I decided to take time off from work and focus on studying.   OK, breathe.

The first hurdle was to get through 5 days of clinical/seminars in 1 week.  My last three clinical experiences were all in a row.  Saturday 12 hours, Sunday 12 hours, Monday 8 hours = 32 hours.  Luckily, these turned out to be great experiences and I was able to do a lot of hands on learning.  Which was nice because it made the time go by a lot faster.  I thanked my preceptor, spoke with my clinical instructor, and walked out of L&D thinking…this is it.  One step closer to graduation.  A couple of days later, I had a 2-day Critical Care Seminar which was very interesting.  The speaker was very animated and taught with excitement.  I really enjoyed that experience as well.  OK, breathe.

The next hurdle was to get through 3 days of exams.  With the first exam being what I affectionately call “The Big Monster”.  This was the dreaded HESI Exit Exam.  For those of you in nursing school, you know this is a beast.  It’s a live or die moment.  Not quite as severe as the NCLEX…but close.  That was to be followed by my Med-Surg final and an exam covering Trauma/Shock.

Well.  Shit.

Let me just go ahead and say it.  I failed.  Big time.  That “Monster” ate me up and spit me out like I was rotten milk.  My whole world was flipped upside down by one test score.  Needless to say, I drank heavily that night.  But not too heavily remember…because I have two more tests to take.  (Yay… …)  Fortunately the next two tests yielded much better results.  But back to my world spinning out of control.  The result of my failed exam is that I now have to essentially score “above average” on our last comprehensive exam in 12 days.  I have to manage to re-learn, comprehend, and remember all of the information we have learned over the past 3 years, and do so while answering NCLEX style questions.  And the real kicker is…I have to do all this…in order to get an “Incomplete” in the course instead of out right failing.  If I don’t pass this exam with the highest score possible, I fail the class.  I FAIL!  I’ve never failed a class.  Sure, I’ve dropped a couple of classes I “would have” failed when I was much younger…but actually failed?!!  NO.

OK, well you still have to breathe…

On a positive side, the results of my echocardiogram and Holter monitor are that I’m a healthy 32 year old woman with occasional early heartbeats.  Per the cardiologist, there doesn’t seem to be much to worry about at this time.  Follow up appointment has been scheduled for 1 year, and I’ll call if I have any new symptoms.  OK, breathe.

So now…I wait.  Study and wait.  If I get the score I need on the 6th, I’ll be able to retake the HESI in January.  And if I pass that exam the second time, I’ll be able to graduate.  If not, I have to retake the class.  This all really sucks…but I’m trying to stay positive and push through it.

will graduate with a BSN.  I will pass the NCLEX and become a RN.

Year 2/Day 95

Year 2 - Day 95

It’s been raining for days, and it has been so gloomy.

Thankfully, the sun decided to peak out and say “Hello” for a little while today.  I love how the sun shines and reflects off wet surfaces.  I had a moment to try and capture the beauty before it disappeared.

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