Flowing Through Mountains

Tired.

Okay.  I’ve been working on editing wedding photos for hours, and it’s now 3:30 am.  I have to get up in about 4 hours, so I’ll write more tomorrow.

One interesting thing I noticed tonight – Even though I’m exhausted, and it’s way too late…I still posted my pic of the day!! :)  Yay!

Today was a last minute effort, and an experimental one at that.  I created this picture using an app called Light Camera.  It allows you to experiment with the aperture and exposure time.  This picture was created using a tea light candle inside of a colored glass jar.  It’s…interesting.

I had a rather busy day today.  It started with a second interview at Starbucks (things look great…), followed by lots of study time.  Also, my peaceful vacation ended today, so I had to pack up all my stuff before class.  Then, headed up to Gainesville for my final exam…fingers crossed I did well!  :)

Funny story about school.  We have a whole 2 weeks off before the next semester starts (I know…not long enough), and I was looking forward to NOT thinking about school.  Well, I see an announcement that the professor for next semester is planning on sending out the syllabus in the next couple days.  Which means, for those of you not in nursing school, I get to start doing homework in “the next couple days”.  Yay.  Not.  I guess I have to bite the bullet and order my $370 worth of books now.  Boo.

On another note, I start at Sprouts tomorrow.  7 AM…eww.

I’ll have to get used to this thing I’ve heard people talking about.  Something about going to bed before 11pm…strange I know.  All in good time I suppose.  :)

There have been so many good things happening lately, and I’m so grateful for all of them.  My photography is stretching and growing.  I’ve got more jobs than I know what to do with.  Opportunities are around every corner, and I’ve got tons of people that love and support me.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Quiet day.  Lots of thinking, and hanging out with the dog.

First things first, let me just say that I do not like today’s picture.  I did not make time to take a good photo today, and I ended up with this shot.  So, I’m gonna try to write instead to make up for the crappy picture.

… … …

Things have been very confusing for me lately.

Am I on a journey forward…or stuck behind bars?  These are the thoughts going through my head.  Am I taking the right steps up…or falling downward?  These are the questions I ask myself in the night.  What am I really doing with myself?  Do I even know what I want?

I have friends and people that love me, but yet I feel lonely.  I have plenty, and yet I am yearning for more.  But what?

What am I searching for, what am I missing?

If only I could wander for awhile, and stumble upon a sign post that points in the direction that I am looking for.  Or maybe find my own Cheshire cat that guides me, albeit confusingly, in the direction I desire.

I feel lost and confused.  Stuck between the daily grind and the uncertain.

I want more from life.  I want to explore and grow.  I want to share my life and adventures with someone special.  I want to hear music that I’ve never heard before.  Music that moves me, that stirs something inside of me that I wasn’t even aware was there.  I want to open my eyes and see the world’s colors.  I want to share the joy of the sunrise on a cool, crisp morning.  I want to wake up, and feel connected to the space around me.

I want to feel happy.  I want to feel loved.  I want to feel like my life has a purpose.

The big question is…

Will I even realize when I am happy, loved, and living a purposeful life?  Or will I still be searching…on a never ending quest for the things I already have?