Day 48

Day 48

First things first, let me just say that I do not like today’s picture.  I did not make time to take a good photo today, and I ended up with this shot.  So, I’m gonna try to write instead to make up for the crappy picture.

… … …

Things have been very confusing for me lately.

Am I on a journey forward…or stuck behind bars?  These are the thoughts going through my head.  Am I taking the right steps up…or falling downward?  These are the questions I ask myself in the night.  What am I really doing with myself?  Do I even know what I want?

I have friends and people that love me, but yet I feel lonely.  I have plenty, and yet I am yearning for more.  But what?

What am I searching for, what am I missing?

If only I could wander for awhile, and stumble upon a sign post that points in the direction that I am looking for.  Or maybe find my own Cheshire cat that guides me, albeit confusingly, in the direction I desire.

I feel lost and confused.  Stuck between the daily grind and the uncertain.

I want more from life.  I want to explore and grow.  I want to share my life and adventures with someone special.  I want to hear music that I’ve never heard before.  Music that moves me, that stirs something inside of me that I wasn’t even aware was there.  I want to open my eyes and see the world’s colors.  I want to share the joy of the sunrise on a cool, crisp morning.  I want to wake up, and feel connected to the space around me.

I want to feel happy.  I want to feel loved.  I want to feel like my life has a purpose.

The big question is…

Will I even realize when I am happy, loved, and living a purposeful life?  Or will I still be searching…on a never ending quest for the things I already have?

2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. darwinontherocks
    Jul 30, 2014 @ 03:27:10

    I know that feeling. I’ve tried to stop asking myself these questions because i couldn’t find any answers.


  2. Heather
    Jul 30, 2014 @ 23:05:49

    I know of what you speak!! *lol* We all go through times like this…it is the human condition : ) From my perspective, I would say you are definitely on a journey forward!!! When you are right in the middle of it, it can be hard to see, but take a step back and realize all the awesome things you are currently doing! And you do have a plan for your life and you are taking steps to make these things come true! and I am so proud of you!! I have come to learn that the future may always be the “uncertain” but this uncertainty is full of amazing possibilities and you really can have all that you desire!! I sent you an email with an inspirational passage a friend shared with me…hope you enjoy it as I did! xoxoxox


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